14 – 20 February 2021
This has been the first full week of my unemployment. The amount of relief I have felt is almost indescribable. I have slept incredibly well and have just been able to feel a lift of stress off me that I know I wouldn’t have been able to walk away from on my own.
Do I have stress knowing that I don’t have a job? Sure. But also, I know I’m good at what I do and the experience I have can definitely help someone down the line. I will be okay. There is enough success in this world for everyone, including me.
It’s a weird feeling when you’ve been fired because you are free. When you’re in a job you hate and are trying to find something else, usually it’s just trying to find something that would be a little better than the current situation you’re in. When you’re fired, you almost gain all the control back in your life. Most people sit back and reflect on why that job wasn’t a good fit for them, what they actually want to do next, and if they could possibly make a career change.
I honestly did all of those things. My plan is to pick up some freelance clients and consult while exploring the positions that are available. I’m on the fence as to whether I want to work for someone else again. I keep seeming to end up in the same position. I’ve never hit the two-year mark working for someone else. (Sorry Mom.)
I’ve always had this entrepreneur spirit, I’ve always wanted to work for myself, set my own hours, and ultimately be at the helm to build something amazing. I’ve tried it before and honestly, have failed… but what is it that Edison said? “I never failed, it just took me 10k tries to invent the lightbulb.” Sooo, yea, I didn’t actually fail, I just made an attempt that wasn’t right for me and I put all those learnings into the next attempt.
Honestly, I’ve tried to start a lot of businesses… When I was seven, instead of getting an Easy Bake oven like every other little girl, I got the “boy” version that made silicon bugs… why? Because I knew my audience and growing up in a neighborhood full of boys who liked to fish, I could sell those silicon critters to them for a quarter apiece.
I came home one night with a big gulp cup full of quarters like I had just hit the jackpot on the slots in Vegas. My parents were like, “Uhmm, where did you get all those quarters?”
“Bugs,” I said.
If only I had kept myself in the silicon bug lure business I might have made a million bucks… oh well.
My next obsession was with fashion. I think this is a very popular obsession for little girls. I really wanted to go to FIDM and set my course that way. I used to hand paint t-shirts. I had some people buy them from me for $15. Then I had other people make fun of me for it. I remember sitting in the lunchroom one day and this kid who we all called Frosty came up behind me and basically said something to the effect of you have to make your clothes because you can’t afford to buy them and something like you’ll never be anything who do you think you are.
I froze. I didn’t know how to respond. Now though, I would have been like, “ Fuck you, I’m going to be the next <insert fashion icon here>.”
The fashion thing stayed with me through high school and into college. I wanted to do couture fashion, I actually won second place in a couture wedding dress design competition. Then I wanted to start a Tomboy ladies clothing brand, but it never really worked out.
I think because my passion always was in the family business of gold gilding and sign painting. My entire life I was always told that I could never make it doing any of that. No one wanted it, the trade was dead blah blah. I listened to everyone, my whole life I listened to what people told me I couldn’t do. I feel like it’s so much wasted time.
About three years ago, I decided that I didn’t want to listen to people anymore. I wanted to give sign painting a try. I wanted to gold gild. Because my grandfathers had passed away before I could learn anything from them, I didn’t know where I would learn the trade.
Fate would intervene. A man from Mazeppa Minnestpa was coming here to teach a sign painting class. I made it work, I found the money, and showed up. It set me on the course for the next few years. I ended up meeting gilders from around the world who were willing to teach me everything they knew. I was so grateful.
I’ve been doing that on the side of my day job for so long and now that I’m free, I also want to see if I can make this something more of a full-time thing. It’s something I enjoy so much.
But you know something else that is really annoying that makes me want to throat punch someone? It’s when they say, “Oh it’s fun now, but when you make a hobby a job it isn’t fun anymore.”
I think that’s a way to keep people down. Keep them from starting businesses or becoming competition. If you truly love something and it’s your passion and your God-given talent that you are supposed to share with the world, you will not hate it when it becomes your full-time job. You will just love life and have a good time every fucking day.
Uhm, so yea this week’s write-up went down a tunnel.
Okay so here are the deets from the week:
1750 Calories | 150g Protein | 128g Carbs | 71g Fat
- 3 Eggs
- 50g Tomatoes
- 25g Green Bell Peppers
- 25g Avocado
- 35g Cashews
- 100g Chicken
- 100g Broccoli
- 1 Tortilla
- 3 t Butter
- 30g Bell Pepper
- 100g Steak
- 1 Scoop Whey
- 1 Scoop Whey
- 1 Small Apple
Workouts are going well. I just really hope that I will be able to continue paying for CrossFit while I’m unemployed. I can’t stop now.
Actual weight this week was: 223.5
Goal Weight to hit this week: 215
I was aiming for 215 this week.. but not really now. 215 was projected in the middle of November when I was trying to lose 4 pounds a week for six months straight.. to get to a number now that I know isn’t healthy for me. So next week, you’re going to see a number that is higher and I want you to realize that I’m doing this for me to be healthy. While I thought that 147 was a number that I could get to and be healthy… it’s not. I’m never going to diet or run myself into the ground to hit a number on the scale. I am doing this journey for me and to be true to myself and my body, I am going to honor what God gave me to work with. God/the Universe made me short and stout and strong AF so that’s what I’m going to be.