We need to talk
It’s amazing how you can amp yourself up one minute then turn around and have the wind completely knocked out of your sails. That’s kind of what happened to me yesterday. I was super stoked to be back on the Transform App and to have my eating all planned out.
I had to go into the office to cover a co-worker that had gone on vacation and then on a weekly catch-up call my boss told me that the company had sold the Minnesota office. He then said that affects certain things. To that, I obviously responded, “what does that mean?”
What that means
He told me that it meant they couldn’t keep me on staff because they didn’t have the money and they hadn’t been able to sign on the clients needed to do so. I didn’t really know how to respond. I was angry that I was losing my job because the sales guy couldn’t do his job. I found out he hasn’t closed any new business in the four years he’s worked there. I really wish I would have known that when I was offered the job.
The one day I’m in the office, this is the news I get. It took everything I had to keep every tear inside so I could walk through the entire building and get out to my car. I cried as I drove home. All I wanted to do was go to DQ to get a blizzard and chicken strip basket. I compromised and went to Subway instead. I still got two cookies, chips, and a drink with my sandwich though.
The chips didn’t really taste that good to me, I am not a salt person, but those cookies. The sugar calmed me down while I was eating them, then 20 minutes later I watched a video of a blind autistic 22-year-old who shakes and talks a little slower sit down at the piano and belt out this amazing song. I literally started bawling because he faces so much adversity in his life and I’m crying about losing my job. I cried myself to sleep… apparently, the sugar and the events of yesterday got a little too much for me.
Mom seems to have Mom spidey senses
I vowed not to tell my mom unless she called me that day. I didn’t really want to put the burden of me losing my job again on her mind. She tends to overanalyze things and always think the worst. She ended up calling me before I watched the AGT video. As we’re talking, I thought I will only tell her about it if she asks me about work.
She did.
That’s pretty much when I broke down. Losing my job three times in three years makes me feel like the biggest failure in the world and I really just needed to tell someone what had happened.
The Fourth of July and moving forward
After waking up this morning at 5 am, I realized I had cried myself to sleep and knew today was a new day and a holiday. Instead of trying to go back to sleep I got up, worked on my side hustle, designed some business cards, drew and took the dogs swimming. My mom always says, “You get the rest of the bad day to cry and mope, but tomorrow you get up and start fresh.” That’s exactly what I tried to do.
I have no other choice but to start hitting the pavement, start applying for new jobs. I need to find something a bit more stable than the industry that I’m in. I’m thinking about making a move to the client-side, but I don’t know if I can find something client-side or if I would even fit into that environment. I guess we will see. The goal is to apply to 3-5 jobs a day, keep hitting it hard and see if I can find something that clicks, keep working on my side hustle, and do what I can do.
