Okay, let’s talk about mindset today. This is something I was so incredibly intent on focusing on this time around. When I was in undergrad, I lost 60 pounds. People started treating me so differently, they were nice to me, people who normally wouldn’t have anything to do with me wanted me to do things with them, and a variety of things along those lines. I couldn’t handle it. I ended up gaining back the 60 pounds plus more. Then I stayed at that weight for years until my dad died, and then I just exploded and hit my highest weight of 310.
I’m noticing that my mindset is different this time. Normally, I get in my head when people start noticing that I’m losing weight. I start futzing around and get derailed because I’m scared people are going to start treating me differently. Something happened at CrossFit that made me notice that I’m not the same woman I was back then and maybe I’ve learned to do this for myself, not anyone else.
So today, I got to CrossFit and one of my CrossFit friends I hadn’t seen in a while was there as I pulled up. As I got out of my car she waved to me and said, “You look like you’ve lost some weight! What has it been since I’ve seen you? Three weeks?” I told her yea it had been about three weeks since I had seen her so I had lost another tenish pounds. I then proceeded to tell her that I had lost 50 pounds since starting CrossFit. The look on her face was really awesome, and then one of my CrossFit guy friends was behind her and overheard the conversation and he had a really surprised look on his face and said, “Wow! That’s amazing. I mean you look great but that number is amazing too.” Haha, he realized he was kind of digging a hole, but it was all a compliment and I definitely took it that way. Then a couple of other people had joined the convo and told me I was killing it.
This experience wasn’t like before, I had a feeling of pride and accomplishment because these people have worked out with me since May. They saw me at my absolute worst and highest weight. They cheered me on as I finished last in class every time. They have been there through it all which has been amazing. I think that’s why I didn’t get in my head about it. There is no hiding how big I was or that I had to have a booster plate put on the ground because I couldn’t reach the ground to pick up the dumbbell when I bent over. My gut got in the way, I got tired so quickly, and sweat so much. It was really gross and these people were there every day with me cheering me on.
I’m trying to now use the encouragement from others to fuel my own motivation to stay on this six-month 100-pound weight loss journey I’m on. It’s not easy but I’m doing it.
