July 6, 2019

Transform Restart

I Got Ahead of Myself

I did. I got way ahead of myself and started pushing buttons in the Transform App and now I’m restarting because I’m actually ready and prepared to start. I got a little ahead of myself and because I love CrossFit, I chose that option, but I really know that I need to be doing the Iron Gym. I need to get my lazy ass off the couch and either work out at my awesome in-home gym or head over to the actual gym. WHERE. I. HAVE. A. MEMBERSHIP.

So after panicking and not doing the workouts for the last few days, I went swimming. I have been eating half right and half wrong (insert Subway here). So dumb. I know I’m just really scared to start but once I do I will be fine. JUST. START.

Why I’m Doing This

I’m trying to keep a decent diary of my days up to the Dopey Challenge. I want to be able to look back and read about how I am feeling, what’s going on, and how the two interact with each other. The reason being is that I did my thesis in grad school on the benefits of exercising and creativity. Hopefully, by documenting the journey will allow me to not fall back into the 300-pound club. It’s not a place I want to be.

The 300 Pound Club

The 300-pound club comes with some unwanted perks. These are some of the things I am suffering from because I can’t get out of my own way.

  • Inflammation: When I squat down my right knee doesn’t hurt but it feels swollen and doesn’t bend all the way.
  • Fatty Liver: I get pain in my right side under ribs. Like a stabbing pain that went away when I lost 50 pounds. So I know it’s due to my weight.
  • Elevated A1C: This is a precursor to Type 2 Diabetes. I do not like needles, so this is something I need to stop before it starts.

I have to stop allowing work to take over my life which leads to unhealthy behaviors. As I talked about yesterday, finding a new job that understands and believes in and encourages balance is key.

Today’s Food

I decided to eat as I would on a normal day to have a starting point. I wanted to note my feelings as I worked my way through the day and the food I ate.

Breakfast

  • 3 Eggs
  • 2 Italian Chicken Sausages
  • 2 C Strawberries

Breakfast was pretty standard, I realized I like my eggs a little longer than over easy and I like the flavor of all the sausage flavors that are offered. I felt full, but felt myself getting bored as I tried to start working through my work and wanted to snack.

Snack

  • None

I got busy and instead of stopping to make a snack I powered through.

Lunch

  • None

I didn’t eat lunch either as I was still working and I thought that I could just keep going because I wasn’t hungry.

Snack

  • 9 Saltine Crackers
  • 1/4 C Tillamook Mixed Cheddar Cheeses

This is where not eating earlier started kicking me in the ass. Immediate boredom hunger and real hunger started to lunge on me. With nothing prepared I started grabbing the closest easiest thing I could. That was cheese and crackers for me.

Dinner

  • 1 Big Mac
  • 1 M Fry
  • 1 L Sprite
  • 2 Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • 1 Vanilla Dip Cone

Shortly after I ate the cheese and crackers, I really started to panic mentally. It was almost like I started to think I would never get food again, that I would starve if I didn’t shove a massive amount of food in my body as a camel does with its water. So, I went to McDonald’s. In this one meal, I consumed 1750 calories. WHAT?! That’s insane. Almost my entire daily caloric intake in one meal that only keeps you full for an hourish? I knew it was a lot of calories, but I never knew exactly how many calories. Gross.

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